Widow, the manual.


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                                                                      PART I  

                                                                    It hits you 


Three years ago, I experienced one of those moments when you tell yourself, I am going to wake up, tell me that I am going to wake up. But no, you do not wake up, for the simple reason that you were not asleep.

At that precise moment, you want someone to appear with a huge aura of immense empathy, he/she would take you in his/her arms and would tell you: breathe, breathe, I’m here to help you. We’ll get there, nothing is normal, but everything is normal … we will get there …

Someone you could hit, shake, scream at, who would tell you with a benevolent smile: go on, continue if this makes you feel good. I really looked for someone like this, I did not found one.

Living together for 28 years, it gives you an idea of ​​the obstacle course. But whatever path you went through, beside, behind, in front of your companion, when he disappears, it’s like an earthquake that shakes the family foundations.

Imagine an abyss over which you are leaning and whose depth you cannot assess… and you are told to JUMP … but without rubber belt … nor parachute, otherwise it would not be funny.

And grief, fear, anger and depressed state add to the sensation of misunderstanding. Dozens of sensations that make you go from hot to cold. And for the next months to come you experience hot flashes/ cooling time 24/7.

But you have no idea what you really get into. Because nobody prepares us for that! That is only the visible part of the iceberg that you can see through your tears.

The Titanic that we are, will hit the iceberg upfront and will have to row to be saved, good to know this upfront. In my humble opinion, playing astonished would be a waste of time. Let us be efficient, in all circumstances.

To be continued…

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